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Thursday, June 08, 2006

Suntan with me with your love


HAPPY BIRTHDAY KHUI HUAY! =)

i've just realised that i could not work under great stress and pressure. it's not that i don't want to do it nicely, but i don't know how to. i know the theory but can't practice it out. if i forced myself to remember this, i will forget to go for the ball. furthermore, i've now realised that you had put too high expectation on me. xu jiao lian appointed me as the libero not because i'm the best in dian-ing balls. i mean yes i did go on court, but libero doesn't always means the best in dian-ing balls you know? and now you expect me to dian the ball best among all. this statement caused me so much stress. argh. what happened to me. why is everything going chaos all of a sudden? it is not that my attitude towards training is crap. i can say that i pend for training more than some of them. yet you are the same as xu jiao lian as you both keep giving me those give up faces. that demoralised and depressed me alot and alot. what am i going to do?

i continued my bad luck today too. haiz. what happened to me AGAIN? why is it that i cannot get rid of my bad luck and stop worrying so much? let me tell you the chain of unlucky events again.
1. i laughed at the mcdonalds in hougang mall so much so that the back part of my head banged against the wooden wall behind me.
2. seeing that 165, 132 and 74 place is filled with nobody but air, i do not know where to go (132 and 165 is at one end, while 74 is at the other end). therefore, i stood in the middle of the whole bus interchange with caijia and eunice. and here comes 132 but as there are no people boarding the bus, i do not know whether to chase it or not. it's only at the last few seconds, 132 is giving out signal to show that it's stopping, i chase after it. i was so close to the bus but the bus driver just won't stop for me. at this very moment, i saw 74 going don't know where. so i ran to the other end but didn't see the bus. haiz. it wasted so much of my energy. eunice and caijia even said that i was so pale.
3. in the end, i went to the 132 and 165 bus stop and saw that 2 74 bus had leave the interchange. argh. it's just my luck.
4. i slept in the bus while dreaming of what had happened just now during the training. these problems had caused me to miss my stop by two stops, and i had to walk back.
5. i laid my head on my hand which caused more harm to my wrist
6. it also made my palm numb.
7. furthermore, every single one of the passengers can see how i look when i sleep. freak!
8. on my way back, i knocked against this man but i couldn't see his face properly. his face seems to be like swollen. ah.
9. i walked along the bus stop and SUDDENLY this man stretched out his hand to stop the bus WHILE SITTING DOWN. so his hand hit my abdomen. freak lar. i was so pissed off and wondered to myself why i suddenly say sorry to him.
10. i saw a primary school friend behind me. however, she wores eyeliner while wearing school uniform which looks like those malay ah lians. so i don't dare to say hi. luckily, i didn't talk to her before since young. hees.

so that's my 10 unlucky things. wa piang. i've accumulated 22 unlucky things in just TWO days. please unlucky spirits, let go of my poor life and stop disturbing me. i beg you =(.

i tried to be happy and i really could be back to last time (whereby i was the craziest with zhanyan). however, those unhappy moments and problems just seemed to strangle my brain, not allowing me to be alone. i havn't been like this before. could someone lend me a hand and a shoulder? if these continues, i might get a schizophrenia soon. a bit of exxageration lar, but that's what i felt. better not. haha.

3:14 AM


Melodies!
Would You Be There
by Redwan Ali


Me!
Han Xinjuan =))
wish_upon@hotmail.com
Townsville Primary
Xinmin Secondary
201`06 302`07
LOVES her family
LOVES her friends
LOVES volleyball
LOVES her handphone
LOVES her camera
LOVES to laugh and be cranky
LOVES to eat
LOVES to shop
LOVES to sleep
WISHES for good grades
WISHES to get into the team
WISHES for clothes
WISHES for accessories
WISHES for more!

Sweetalks!



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